Passion Tree - Just for Widows

I’ve thought of this alot since I’ve become a widow. What is a life of passion? I think it’s a joyful life but that’s hard to find after the death of a loved one. Everything is grey and dull and its hard to even laugh.

I think there should be a Passion Tree and we should be able to pick our passion. If only it was that easy!! I have found life alot more joyful since I became passionate about helping other widows.

I think that to be joyful you have to find your passion in life. Somehow it will involve helping others because when you stop looking at your grief and focusing on others you can’t help feeling. And feeling, any feeling in the beginning is a great start to living a life of passion.

Setting Goals as a Widow

Don’t waste your time thinking it’s too late to go after your dreams. You can learn new things at any time in your life if you’re willing to be a beginner. When it comes to dreams – nobody makes you do them. Nobody is going to push you.

So, take the time to define your goals – Don’t be afraid.

• On one line write down something you want to have or to do.
• On the same line put a target date for reaching your goal.
• List under your goal line all the steps that need to be taken to reach that goal.
• Break down the list as to what needs to be done every day on a consistent basis.
• At the end of each day write out your thoughts about that day in a journal.

Example if my goal is to lose 20 pounds in 3 months – it’s only 6.5 lbs a month, and that is only 1.5 lbs per week.   Funny, how l.5 lbs per week sounds so much easier.  And that is the secret – break the goal into small pieces that you can do. 

All I did was state my goal and break it down to what I would do each day.  Somehow that big scary goal became small and easy for me to accomplish.

Repeat this process for every goal: write goal – set date – list daily steps – journal at day’s end.
Take some time to really think about what you want your goals to be.

Support for Widows as they Grieve

You’ll know that you’re detached and out of touch with how you feel when others seem more emotional then you. You may feel disconnected and emotionally unavailable. Try to open up to close friends or family members that you trust to honor your thoughts and feelings.

Although not for everyone, professional help can be just what you need to understand that it’s normal to be so unbalanced. If you want to talk to someone that can help you with the emotions that you’re faced with then get a Counselor that you’re comfortable with.

Ask other widows if they know of anyone that can help you, look up the local Community Health Clinic or ask your Family Doctor for a referral. Don’t hold back, this is the time to reach out.

The Sisterhood of Widows isn’t a blood tie, but women bond together in special way that makes us like a family. We share the parts of our lives that only other women can understand. It is important to spend time with a family of women to nurture and support ourselves. To be listened to, humored and encouraged by our women friends is a gift not to be taken lightly.

The following websites and authors are about living a life with purpose:
www.jackcanfield.com                  www.briantracy.com                           www.jimrohn.com

Stephen Covey, Anthony Robbins, Denis Waitley, Chris Widener, Vic Johnson (Goals2go), Bob Proctor, Zig Ziglar, Robin Sharma and Mark Victor Hansen are some of the best in the world so check them out.  Most of the above authors offer free newsletters and samples so you don’t have to buy anything.

Financial Decisions As a Widow

Financial decisions have to be made every time you turn around.   Everyone has an opinion but not everyone is an expert.

This is your future security so be very cautious.

• Ask your bank about their Financial Planning Consultants.
• Talk to your Insurance Agent about your policies and financial planning.
• See your Lawyer to redo your will and ask about a living trust fund.
• Think about preplanning your funeral – it’s a gift to the family.

Can you afford to live the life you really want?

You have to take control because ignorance is not bliss when it comes to your money.
If you don’t know what to do or how to do it asking for help is your first step.   We all need support when learning new skills.   Check out   the website http://widowed.ca/ for some great advise for Canadian widows.

Balance your check book and get your bills together. Know what is coming in and what is going out every month. Identify the expenses that are unnecessary and get rid of them.  Ask yourself what adds value to your life.  

This website www.debtproofliving.com has some great advise.

• Take time to be grateful for what you do have and more abundance will come to you.
• Give to others -not just money but in sharing of your time to help someone else.

Living well does not require having a lot of money. And living within your means does not mean that you have to give up those things you enjoy. The key is to stop and ask yourself what truly makes you happy and go for quality of life not quantity of things.